Cycle 24 CD 26
Well I'm cramping today, so it has now been two years worth of cycles. DH said "giving up is not an option" and that really changed my outlook on this whole thing. We can't give up, I know I often feel like I want to, but I cannot live without having a family. I need to be a mother. Being an aunt, dog mom, babysitter is not enough. So now we're plunging foward. We're doing IVF. I used to have such a bad feeling about IVF, but now that I'm in the situation where we need it and I've done more research on all the different options I feel differently. I used to think "why would you pay all this money for a medical procedure when you could just adopt?" First of all you can't "just adopt" there are waiting lists, red tape, lots of money, lots of ups and down and no for sure outcome. IVF is cheaper and since we have no obvious health reasons why we can't get pregnant it'll most likely work. Even if it doesn't we won't have a baby taken from us (which I've read about with adoptive parents where the birth parents change their mind up to two years later and take the baby back).
Mom is going to help us, we're saving money, and we're doing this.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Sweet buttery biscuits!!!! This shit is expensive!!! DH is going in for another SA and a DNA fragmentation test $450. Then I'll have my 2nd US and bloodwork that I can only imagine will be expensive to say the least, but I do have a finance consult on Monday on my lunch hour. So after we spend $20k on IVF then we have to pay for the prenatal care and birth then 18 years of medical bills. This kid better be worth it ;-) honestly though that's a lot of pressure put on this on kid. I'd go to the moon and back to get one though so no matter what he'll be super special
Should I stay or should I go?
So we got another bill from the IUI ($265) so now we're up to $590 for that waste of time :-(
Girl at work driving me crazy. She waddles around like she's nine months (she's 10 weeks from date of last period), rubbing her belly, constantly complaining about symptoms, telling everyone every detail. Plus she' so uninformed. She'll tell me things like "did you know you can't eat lunch meat/sushi/aspartame when you're pregnant?" DUH! I've been around so many pregnant women and read so much information about conception, pregnancy, etc. I feel like an expert and here's this naive little fertile asking me "did you know you can only get pregnant like 3 days a month?" grrrrrrrr She also made the comment that she "quit smoking... mostly, I only take a few puffs off [DH's] cigarette" and "we have nothing to do anymore. all we ever did was go to bars and drink and smoke" so now she either goes and just "has a little" or her DH just leaves her at home to go drink and smoke with the neighbors every night. She also complains about how they don't have any money to raise this baby and all the family history of alcoholism, schizophrenia, depression, etc. It just frustrates me that someone who not really prepare for this baby and is so uninformed can so easily get pregnant by just stopping the pill.
Anyway, I had a consultation with two fertility specialist. Found out I may have high FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and DH might have low sperm count and high morphology. Basically a lot of the tests my OB/GYN ran we read and/or done poorly. If we do the 3 cycle IVF plan we're looking at >$30k. We might be able to swing one treatment, but it's still very pricey and not guaranteed. I'm so conflicted right now. Still feeling like giving up, but also feel like "what the hell? let's throw all our money at this and hope it works!"
Girl at work driving me crazy. She waddles around like she's nine months (she's 10 weeks from date of last period), rubbing her belly, constantly complaining about symptoms, telling everyone every detail. Plus she' so uninformed. She'll tell me things like "did you know you can't eat lunch meat/sushi/aspartame when you're pregnant?" DUH! I've been around so many pregnant women and read so much information about conception, pregnancy, etc. I feel like an expert and here's this naive little fertile asking me "did you know you can only get pregnant like 3 days a month?" grrrrrrrr She also made the comment that she "quit smoking... mostly, I only take a few puffs off [DH's] cigarette" and "we have nothing to do anymore. all we ever did was go to bars and drink and smoke" so now she either goes and just "has a little" or her DH just leaves her at home to go drink and smoke with the neighbors every night. She also complains about how they don't have any money to raise this baby and all the family history of alcoholism, schizophrenia, depression, etc. It just frustrates me that someone who not really prepare for this baby and is so uninformed can so easily get pregnant by just stopping the pill.
Anyway, I had a consultation with two fertility specialist. Found out I may have high FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and DH might have low sperm count and high morphology. Basically a lot of the tests my OB/GYN ran we read and/or done poorly. If we do the 3 cycle IVF plan we're looking at >$30k. We might be able to swing one treatment, but it's still very pricey and not guaranteed. I'm so conflicted right now. Still feeling like giving up, but also feel like "what the hell? let's throw all our money at this and hope it works!"
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