Well I definitely jinxed myself! Last night I had some serious hot flashes! I did get a good temp this morning though. Today is my last day of Clomid. I hope this thing works and gives us some answers. That's the worst part is the uncertainty. If I knew for sure we were not able to have babies naturally I could take the next step and start saving for adoption.
I've never been pregnant. I often read about women struggling with IF that have no problem getting pregnant, but staying pregnant. I honestly don't know which is worse. I almost feel that if we had suffered a loss it would at least be easier to talk to people like my mom. people often understand what it feels to lose something, but can't seem to sympathize with our situation of just never getting pregnant. They just say ''stop trying'' or ''relax'' or ''i knew this couple that tried for years and then they decided to adopt and bam! They got pregnant!'' I'm sure the things they'd say to ''comfort'' me after a loss would be just as bad, ugh
I just feel so alone
Eta I should say that I do have DH and he's very supportive and we're in this together but even he says I'm obsessing and talk about it too much. Also I'm not saying a loss is better than not getting pregnant at all, it's just that I feel a loss every month I get a BFN (big fat negative). All month I imagine creating this child, pick names and stare wishingly at my belly. Then when AF shows up all that is shattered and I mourn for something that never existed. I know I sound like a crazy person, but that's what IF does to you
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