Ok I know IF has pretty much consumed my life lately. I'm even getting tired of hearing me talk about it, but how is it people in my life seem to have no idea why I'm upset. I posted a general post on FB saying how gratefull I was for supportive family and friends (meaning very specific people who have been helpful by listening to my woes and offering financial and/or emotional support). Several people "liked" the status, several people who have been the opposite of supportive, either becuase they don't know how to be or are just too self-centered.
Then after an especially rough day of TD, money issues, and finding out yet another couple is pregnant for the second time in the two years we've been TTC, I posted that I was having a bad day. One of these very unsupportive people asks "Why?" on FB! I'm pretty open on FB, but don't really want to hash out all the glorious details of all my problems (diarreah, pregnancy envy, money issues) on there. If you don't know what I'm going through and are truly concerned, send me a private message, or call me and I will gladly unload on you. This person doesn't want that, and that's fine, but don't pretend to care.
Then another one of these unsupportive people sends me an email asking what my status's meant and if everything was ok, so I told them. Then they say "when r u going to have me and my fiancé over for dinner?" I say I really don't know I'll have to figure out a good time. Then 4 days later they call me and ask again, so I explain we've started injections, and trying to have people over right now is gonna be difficult. They say having them over shouldn't be a big deal, but for me it is. I'd have to make sure the house is tidy, then come home from work at 6:30, make dinner, and give myself my shot in the middle of dinner. Plus these are not people I'm super comfortable with right now. When this whole process started I asked them for a loan. They said no, which is fine but then lectured me about money and said I should say the money myself (it would take over 5 years and by then my eggs which are already screwed up, would be 35). So I was upset and we had words about how a simple no would've sufficed. I'm not an irresponsible person (I've been buying bonds for my future children for years and we make sure to have a little money in savings, and barely any debt) and had I known we would need IVF I would've been saving for that, but one cannot predict this. So anyway, this whole subject makes me uncomfortable with this person. So dinner? During IVF? Nope!
Now this person keeps calling and offer to help. Nothing specific just to let them know if we need anything. Honestly we're good. DH and I have a pretty good system worked out, and a good support system. Plus I feel it's too little too late. This person should be a very important person in my life, but I feel dropped the ball when it came to our IF.
I'm being really selfish right now but I think I need to take of of me and mine to get through this. If you're not with me you're against me and I don't have time or energy for that right now.
Everything else is really good. Stomach is much better thanks to antibiotics and my first 4 injections have been easy peasy! DH has been great, as has my mom, inlaws, best friends and a sister of a friend who did this 4 years ago. Her mother even gave me a card with $100 in it and a heart felt note. I'm very thankful!
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