Giving up

Cycle 23 CD 13

A girl at my work is pregnant. She's been married for 8 months. I really like her so I am happy for her, but so sorry for myself. It just makes me want to withdraw more. From all fertiles. I want to give up trying. I am done doing the ''baby dance'' I am contemplating just disappearing, or getting a divorce and starting a new life as a single childless woman. I hate this! I feel horrible. Been crying all day, blaming my red eyes on allergies. I really don't see a point in my life. I work a menial job, live in a boring subdivide. I'm not especially intelligent or creative. I'm fat and not as good looking as I once was. I'm not talented at anything especially. I always thought I'd be a great housewife and mother. Now I have no point.

Needless to say we wasted $325 on the IUI.

This is our list of names we've been making for the last two years

Ronin/Ronan 
Jovian
Sullivan
Nell
River
Quinn
Lincoln 
Ruby
Fiona
Phineus (Phineas)
Hendrix
Nora
Luna
Foster
Jewell
Helena
Adele 
Malcolm
Desmond
Penelope
Mira
Tesla
Brixton
Amelia
Xavier
Wren
Renly
Jorie
Jory

Guess it's pointless too