We Beat it!

I feel like a character at the end of The Wizard of Oz, “You were fertile all along! You just needed a little help (and a lot of money!)” LOL Both transferred embryos took! We are pregnant with twins! We knew there was a pretty good chance, but the reality is still a lot to swallow. Two carseats, two cribs, two cars, two college tuitions! We are very excited! We definately got our money's worth with IVF!

I'm a little nervous because I'm "high risk" now. More of a possiblity of a c-section, pre-term labor, etc. But I feel I'm in good hands (my doctors) and DH takes good care of me, letting me sleep and bringing me pretzels.

I probably will quit my IF blog now, since even though we struggled (for 29 cycles!), we, apparently, have good eggs, good sperm, and a good womb. IDK why the hell it didn't work on our own, but two babies, and 5 more frozen embryos! I think we're good ***knock on wood***

Good luck to everyone else in their struggles! I will probably be donating our embryos if all goes well with this pregnancy, so maybe we can help someone else beat IF

Holey Crap! It Worked!

I'm officially 4 weeks 1 day pregnant!!! After the transfer we waited 11 days. DH did my progesterone shot every night, I took my prenatal vitamins, I was careful what I ate and drank. Then yesterday morning I went in for my hCG blood test. I was told I'd have the results within 2-3 hours. DH and I both took the afternoon off and I called at noon. The results were not in yet. I called back an hour later and now I'M PREGNANT! I started crying and shaking and generally freaking out. We called our parents and siblings and our friends. I went shopping for maternity pants because I've been outgrowing my regular pants, but have held off on buying new clothes. Maternity jeans are the best! I'm super bloated and been having stomach issues, a little nauseous, but mostly it's coming out the other end. I've been hot at night, and sleepy half way through the day,  but I'm just so happy to finally be pregnant, I don't mind any of it. We find out in 6 weeks if it's twins. Out of the 7 eggs they retrieved all were fertilized and developed. They transfered two and froze three. Then on day 6 the other two had developed into blastocysts (this is a good thing) and then frozen. That means we have some good quality sperm and egg action!

So Infertility can kiss my ass!

Retrieval and Transfer done!

On Monday September 10, 2012 I had my fourth and final monitoring appt. After being on 150IUs of Menopur and Follistim for 9 days, I was told I had 24 follicles, with 18 of them being over 1cm. So I felt full and ready to go. I gave myself the HCG and final Lupron shot that night.

On Wednesday at 6:45am DH was able to collect at home. We arrived at IVF embryologist at 7:30. I registered at same day surgery, and was put in a gown and we got to hang out in a private room with a recliner and TV. At about 10:30 they took me to IVF services and a new room with another recliner and TV. All the nurses and Doctors came in to introduce themselves. The anesthesiologist came in and hooked up my IV and explained what was going to happen. Around 11:45 the nurse took me to the OR while DH waited in our room. They laid me out, feet in stirrups, and gave me the good stuff. The last thing I remember was saying “whoa.”

Then I remember talking to someone about how many eggs and how many we might get to freeze for later but I don’t remember who. Then I opened my eyes and I was back with DH. He said I had been talking to him for a while. I slowly came completely back to my senses. I was cramping a lot, so they gave me a Vicodin. After a while the nurse gave me the progesterone shot, took out my IV and told me to get dressed. I was a little out of it all day and crampy up until Friday morning.

On Thursday we learned that all 7 eggs that were retrieved were fertilized!! We are now the proud parents of 7 little embryos!! 

The transfer was easy. Got to the hospital at 10:30, got into my gown and this time DH got scrubs. We waited for three hours and finally Dr. Silber came in, gave us a picture of our embryos, and told me he was going to talk me through a guided relaxation during the procedure.

They got be back in the stirrups in the OR, DH was right next to me, stroking my forehead. Dr. Silber gently led me into relaxation, and BAM, it was done.

Now we wait. Two little embryos are in my uterus, this is amazing. I am trying to visualize them dividing, developing, hatching, and then implanting. I’m going to do yoga and/or meditation every night for the next two weeks until our pregnancy test.

DH has been giving me the progesterone shots every night in my bum, it hurts and I'm sore but this will all be worth it!

We’re thinking of names, and the possibility of twins!

Jovian(Jovi)            Sullivan(Sully)

Ruby                      Desmond

River                       Jory

Penelope                Finley

Tesla(Tess)             Miles

Leona                      Harvey

Cecelia                    Oscar

Isla

Well on our way

Well the Lupron has given me headaches and hot flashes, and maybe the occasional rage fit. The injections don't hurt at all in the right side and only sting, I did have a bruise on my left side after my last shot. I went in for bloodwork and US friday, all was well, so I started menopur and follistim last night.night. It was like a science experiment, mixing 1cc of diligent with 75iuis of powder FSH and LH, then mix that with another 75IUIs of powder. Then shoot it up! It burns, but it's tolerable. Next I did the follistim cartridge and pen. Pretty easy and painless! I can't believe in two weeks I'll be (hopefully) impregnated!  

Lol, just retread this. I typed it on my iPhone so lots of typos!

Sometimes I just hate (some) people

Ok I know IF has pretty much consumed my life lately. I'm even getting tired of hearing me talk about it, but how is it people in my life seem to have no idea why I'm upset. I posted a general post on FB saying how gratefull I was for supportive family and friends (meaning very specific people who have been helpful by listening to my woes and offering financial and/or emotional support). Several people "liked" the status, several people who have been the opposite of supportive, either becuase they don't know how to be or are just too self-centered.

Then after an especially rough day of TD, money issues, and finding out yet another couple is pregnant for the second time in the two years we've been TTC, I posted that I was having a bad day. One of these very unsupportive people asks "Why?" on FB! I'm pretty open on FB, but don't really want to hash out all the glorious details of all my problems (diarreah, pregnancy envy, money issues) on there. If you don't know what I'm going through and are truly concerned, send me a private message, or call me and I will gladly unload on you. This person doesn't want that, and that's fine, but don't pretend to care.

Then another one of these unsupportive people sends me an email asking what my status's meant and if everything was ok, so I told them. Then they say "when r u going to have me and my fiancé over for dinner?" I say I really don't know I'll have to figure out a good time. Then 4 days later they call me and ask again, so I explain we've started injections, and trying to have people over right now is gonna be difficult. They say having them over shouldn't be a big deal, but for me it is. I'd have to make sure the house is tidy, then come home from work at 6:30, make dinner, and give myself my shot in the middle of dinner. Plus these are not people I'm super comfortable with right now. When this whole process started I asked them for a loan. They said no, which is fine but then lectured me about money and said I should say the money myself (it would take over 5 years and by then my eggs which are already screwed up, would be 35). So I was upset and we had words about how a simple no would've sufficed. I'm not an irresponsible person (I've been buying bonds for my future children for years and we make sure to have a little money in savings, and barely any debt) and had I known we would need IVF I would've been saving for that, but one cannot predict this. So anyway, this whole subject makes me uncomfortable with this person. So dinner? During IVF? Nope!

Now this person keeps calling and offer to help. Nothing specific just to let them know if we need anything. Honestly we're good. DH and I have a pretty good system worked out, and a good support system. Plus I feel it's too little too late. This person should be a very important person in my life, but I feel dropped the ball when it came to our IF.

I'm being really selfish right now but I think I need to take of of me and mine to get through this. If you're not with me you're against me and I don't have time or energy for that right now.

Everything else is really good. Stomach is much better thanks to antibiotics and my first 4 injections have been easy peasy! DH has been great, as has my mom, inlaws, best friends and a sister of a friend who did this 4 years ago. Her mother even gave me a card with $100 in it and a heart felt note. I'm very thankful!

Pumped!

I watched over $10k disappear out of my account today. Last weekend we got our loan, so for three days our account was ballin! But then we paid for my meds and paid the two dr's their fees and now most of the money is gone. It's ok, I'm excited! I got my injection instructions and even gave myself a shot (of saline). I start lupron injections this Saturday! We're really doing this! DH goes in for all of the blood tests Saturday and he's turning in all the consent forms. I have an appt with my OB/GYN the 28th and the I start follistim and menopur and monitoring the first of September. I cannot believe that in 6 weeks I might very well be pregnant!!!!!!

Religion (Catholicism) and IVF

I am an agnostic. I was raised Catholic and have studied Budhism. I've taken away the same basic morals from both: don't be an asshole. All the specific stuff gets too selfcontraductory and political. Basically I try to be kind to sentient beings (I'm not doing well on the vegetarian front, but I do try to only eat local, organic, grass fed, and humanely butchered animals), be honest, appreciate what I have, and share with others.

I decided a long time ago niether I, nor any of the major religions, knew the exact thruths of the universe, and I decided to stop trying and just live my life ethically the way I saw fit.

I can't understand how religious people (specifically catholic) can go through with IVF (even though it is not condoned by the church) and then choose not to do selective reduction when multiples pose a threat to the mother and/or babies. They always say something like "god gave us these babies" or "it's in god's hands." I don't get it! How can u going against your church and having an advanced, expensive medical procedure where risk of multiples is high be god giving u multiples.

The story I was reading was one where they opted for 4 embryos to be transferred. I filled out the consent form that expressly warns you about risks of that many and the possibility of needing reduction to protect the mother and babies lives. Why would u go out of your way (& god's way for that matter) to have this risky procedure only to then decide it's in God's hands. WTF?! IVF is not natural. It doesn't just happen! I personally know two women (both catholic) who did this and their babies suffered and still suffer from their choice to transfer 3 & 4 embryos and then choose not to reduce when they found all 3/4 implanted. I can't understand why they would go against their religion to do the IVF but then stand behind it when it came to giving their babies a chance at a healthy life.

Also since the catholic church specifically prohibits IVF, can we still be catholic? Can my IVF children go to catholic school?